Episode 66: Men’s Sexual Shadow At Work With Keith Witt [The Amiel Show]

Dr Keith Witt

Men who are conscious of their sexual shadows at work are better leaders. They are less likely to do stupid things like sexually harass women or have illicit affairs. By spending less energy fighting their shadows, they can use their human superpowers to do good things like build great teams and guide them toward a better future.

People don’t talk a lot about this. Not in day to day work. And not even in classes about diversity and inclusion—or women in leadership.

That’s why I was so excited to talk with this week’s guest, Keith Witt, about his new book Shadow Light: Illuminations At the Edge Of Darkness.

His book and our conversation are about everyone (not just men) and all types of shadow (not just the sexual one). Still, the part I found most valuable was about straight guys who still haven’t gotten over their teenage crush on Suzie next door. Yes, we actually riff on this for 15 minutes!

Keith and I previously spoke about creating a marital love affair. You might say that this time we talk about loving your shadow.

For integral folks, we also talk about your personal moral system. How does this system change as we grow? What happens to our bodies when we violate it?

As if that weren’t enough, we also look at how healthy and unhealthy nationalism differ. Hint: it has to do with the collective shadow!

Highlights

  • The shame of violating your moral system
  • Constructive versus destructive shadow
  • Human superpowers
  • The roots of sexual harassment
  • Evaluating potential employees for their willingness to be influenced
  • Healthy and unhealthy nationalism

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Episode 61: Healing Trump Shock Using The Enneagram With Roxanne Howe-Murphy [The Amiel Show]

Roxanne Howe-Murphy

When the world turns upside down, when all that is solid melts into air, shock is a natural response.

Often, the shock is individual: Death of a loved one. A cancer diagnosis. Loss of a job or home.

And then there are events like the Cuban missile crisis, the Kennedy assassination, and 9/11. The ground beneath all of us suddenly feels less stable.

For more than half of the U.S. population–and millions around the world–the election of Donald Trump last week has been the ultimate shock.

I am no exception. I’ve experienced waves of disgust, sadness, anger, regret, and fear. My brain is wired to look forward, so it remains curious and anxious about the many future scenarios that could unfold. The gravest: unsteady hands on the nuclear codes and an impulsive and vindictive man interacting with other foreign powers.

It’s clear that I’m going to be reframing my work, friendships, and community commitments. Sobriety, imagination, and courage strike me as important guiding virtues. But how to express them? What actions would allow me to express my best self?

This week’s guest, Roxanne Howe-Murphy, suggests that I–and you–take an important step before plunging into action: get in touch with our own experiences with clarity and compassion.

Roxanne views Trump’s election as a leadership wake up call. The first task of leadership, she says, is to create a space for people to be present to their own experiences and share their stories. Not just because this is kind and truthful, but also because it produces wiser action. When we become present to our habitual patterns, we are more likely to do good stuff rather than head down negative spirals.

Roxanne is a pioneering teacher of the Enneagram, wise woman, and healing presence. Our conversation is very real. I hope you get value from it and share it with others in your life.

Highlights

  • Shock points can be transformative moments or downward spirals
  • The power of presence
  • I share my own experience this week to illustrate the core pattern of Type Six, the Loyal Skeptic
  • Roxanne describes Donald Trump as a low-average to unhealthy Type Eight, the Challenger. What can we expect from him?
  • What are skillful ways to influence a Type Eight?

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What Do You Do When There’s Nothing to Do?

Note: I wrote this in early August

The woman at the registration table thinks I’m going to kidnap someone else’s child. If she knew how hard it is for me to get my own kids to follow me, she wouldn’t be suspicious. However, her job isn’t to read my mind. It’s to protect the kids at summer camp from people doing strange things or, as in my case, asking unusual questions.

Curiosity can get you into trouble.

Bird up high

Denied entry

It all started two days ago. After finishing my work day, I drove to camp to pick up my older son. The man at the registration table looked down at a sheet of paper and said, “Sorry, you’re not on the approved list.” Many parents would get frustrated or angry to hear such news. I was excited. It meant that this camp was strict about the security rules—my kind of camp.