Grow and lead for all of us

Deliberate practice

Episode 78: Rising Path With Ruben Rodriguez [The Amiel Show]

Episode 78: Rising Path With Ruben Rodriguez [The Amiel Show]

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This week’s guest, Ruben Rodriguez, is one of the most brilliant designers of learning experiences for leaders.

He’s also an old friend and trusted colleague.

Ruben is super funny. Yet he claims that I once advised him to tone down his humor.

Ruben is also smart and accomplished. But he’s so humble that I bought a special air pump to inflate his ego.

And although he doesn’t write books, he invents much better book titles than yours truly.

For these reasons and more, I hope you enjoy listening.

Highlights

  • 9:15 From apples to Apple
  • 19:00 I get to the essence of things
  • 35:30 Heart conversation: why are you here?
  • 42:45 Head conversation: what do you really think?
  • 49:00 Body conversation: what will do you and when?
  • 58:45 Growth conversation: what’s your next challenge?

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Episode 77: Presence-Based Leadership With Doug Silsbee, Part 2 [The Amiel Show]

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Doug Silsbee

This is part two of my interview with Doug Silsbee about his important new book: Presence-Based Leadership: Complexity Practices for Clarity, Resilience, and Results That Matter. Part one is here.

In this portion of the interview, Doug walks us through the core of his book: the nine window panes through which you can view leadership. It is a complex model and therefore eminently practical, because it matches the complexity in which we live.

It is also a serious and illuminating synthesis, one that invites all of us into a rich experience of what is right there before us.

Please take your time over the next sixty seconds to start listening—and then share with your peeps.

Highlights

  • 6:30 We are highly trained to look outside us, but not within us
  • 9:00 The meaning and limitation of legacy
  • 14:00 What identity am I unconsciously seeking to perpetuate
  • 20:00 Doug guides you to draw the nine panes (not while driving, of course!)
  • 24:00 A business example that brings it alive
  • 37:00 Regulating your inner state
  • 42:00 Embodying what matters to us

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Episode 76: Presence-Based Leadership With Doug Silsbee, Part 1 [The Amiel Show]

Episode 76: Presence-Based Leadership With Doug Silsbee, Part 1 [The Amiel Show]

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Doug Silsbee

Doug Silsbee joins me this week to discuss his remarkable new book: Presence-Based Leadership: Complexity Practices for Clarity, Resilience, and Results That Matter.

The book, like Doug himself, is a grounding presence, a heart-felt invitation, and a wise synthesis. He meets you where you are—offering practical insights and clever experiments to try—and calls you to sink a bit deeper into the place from which your life-force arises.

I was honored to speak with Doug. Within the first few minutes of the interview, you will learn why.

This is the first of two interviews with Doug. The next will appear a week from today.

Please listen and share widely.

Highlights

  • 9:00 Art is creating what you don’t yet know
  • 21:30 Today’s practicalities and why we are here both matter
  • 29:00 It is audacious to be an offer in the world
  • 31:00 What shapes our identity
  • 36:00 In meetings, everyone lives in their own bell jar
  • 39:00 Three levels of scale: context, identity, and soma
  • 44:00 Three meta-competencies: sensing, being, and acting

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Episode 74: Whites’ Self-Interest In Opposing Racism With Diane Woods [The Amiel Show]

Episode 74: Whites’ Self-Interest In Opposing Racism With Diane Woods [The Amiel Show]

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You support Black Lives Matter and oppose racial discrimination because you want to help black people. If you have light skin, you can’t get much more noble than that, right?

Not quite. According to this week’s guest, leadership coach and retired executive Diane Woods, the idea that white people need to be altruistic toward blacks is itself a racist idea.

Huh?

Yes, you read that correctly.

In fact, as Diane explains, white folks have an intelligent self-interest in opposing racist ideas and embracing all of us as equally capable and worthy human beings.

I’ve known Diane for almost two decades. She hosted a book club I joined. Back then, I saw her as a fountain of wisdom and curiosity, and over time, those qualities have only grown.

Please join me in this second episode in my new series on the American experience with race. If you enjoyed my conversation last week with Greg Thomas—or, heck, even if you haven’t yet—you’ll want to tune into this one.

Please share with friends and colleagues so we can carry Diane’s voice far into the conversation around race and culture.

Highlights

  • 5:00 Why Ta-Nehisi Coates and Diane weren’t surprised by white supremacists marching
  • 9:00 Diane’s spiritual teacher’s blind spot around race
  • 15:00 Evolution of race work over 50 years
  • 20:00 Crafting herself to look good for white corporate America
  • 31:00 Despite injustice, my inner life is mine and I will defend it
  • 35:00 “They just don’t want us here”
  • 41:00 “I may say racist things but I’m pure on the inside”
  • 49:00 Racism is corrosive for white people
  • 1:02:00 Whites freeing themselves from the burden of racism
  • 1:05:00 Countering racism is in whites’ intelligent self-interest

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Episode 72: Friendship After #MeToo With Hilary Bradbury & Bill Torbert [The Amiel Show]

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Hilary-BradburyBill-Torbert

Is workplace friendship between women and men possible in a time of #MeToo? If so, what might it look like, and how can both women and men show up differently?

In our important societal discussion about sexual harassment and power, these questions aren’t exactly on the tips of people’s tongues.

Yet they are vitally important to the health of organizations and the quality of our lives. If men avoid women out of self-protective fear, who does that benefit? If men respond instead with new ways of silencing women’s voices, that moves us backwards.

Many women are angry. Many men are befuddled and/or defensive. Where we can meet each other for the good of all?

Credit Hilary Bradbury for these questions. I asked to interview her about sexual harassment, power, and adult development. She made a counteroffer—actually, two:

  1. Let’s talk about friendship
  2. Let’s include men in the conversation

Isn’t it great when people come up with better ideas than the one you started with?

This week, Hilary and Bill Torbert join me for an enlivening and provocative conversation that builds to a level of intimacy that I found heart-warming. Hilary previously spoke with me about power in relationships between women and men, and Bill about framing conversations for powerful results.

We talk at the cultural and societal level. We also talk about how their own friendship has evolved over decades, the subject of their recent book, Eros/Power: Love In The Spirit of Inquiry. 

Tune in, share with your peeps, and let me know what you think.

Highlights

  • 15:00 Women’s rage
  • 27:00 From unilateral power to mutual power
  • 36:00 When two people become attracted at work
  • 40:30 We cannot rely on police-like rules
  • 43:00 The “whitest white woman” on the receiving end of rage
  • 52:00 What to do with the urge to discharge?
  • 57:00 When Bill shouts out in pain

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Episode 70: Later Stages Of Leadership Maturity With Susanne Cook-Greuter [The Amiel Show]

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This week on the podcast, I welcome back adult development expert, Susanne Cook-Greuter, to discuss the most advanced stages of leadership maturity. Each of these stages is both increasingly complex—bringing new capacities and new challenges—and increasingly rare. We discuss:

  • Self-actualizing or Strategist stage
  • Construct-aware/Ego-aware or Alchemist stage
  • Unitive or Ironist stage

Susanne and I previously spoke in episode 36 about the how vertical development works and what’s common between all developmental models.

In episode 37 we explored how developmental theory helps us reframe two everyday challenges: work/career and pivotal conversations.

In both episodes, we focused on the development stages where 80 percent of adults in the West live. But what about the stages beyond that? What is it like to live there?

That is the focus of this episode.

Our conversation was a genuine “wow.” My mind got a vigorous calisthenic workout, and we teamed up to investigate common confusions about these later stages.

Have a seat, go for a walk, get on a plane, and take a listen. This is one you’ll want to share with friends!

Highlights

  • 8:50 Self-Actualizing/Strategist stage (5-6% of adults in West)
  • 19:00 Capacity to take a stand on ideals
  • 26:00 When growth first really matters to us
  • 30:30 Tempted to take an early retirement package from development?
  • 35:00 “Look how much I know about myself!”
  • 36:00 Construct Aware/Ego Aware/Alchemist stage (<1% of adults in West)
  • 41:00 “Am I nuts?”
  • 44:00 The limits of mapmaking and trying to get beyond the ego
  • 47:00 Unitive or Ironist stage
  • 51:30 Experiencing the wonder of things—consistently
  • 1:00:00 The virtues of hanging out at—and acting from—Self-Actualizing/Strategist

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Episode 69: Executives’ New Promises With Bob Dunham [The Amiel Show]

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Bob-Dunham

This week on the podcast, I welcome back Bob Dunham to discuss the transition from manager to executive.

Bob heads up the Institute for Generative Leadership, where for three decades he has developed leaders and coaches.

In episode 7, he described how to make reliable promises and the importance of listening for commitment.

This time, we explored how becoming an executive involves a new category of promises. Skillfully managing these promises requires new conversations, skills, and presence. Why do many people fail in transitioning to the executive role? What does it take to cross this chasm successfully? How can you prepare yourself for the transition?

Join Bob and me as we delve into these questions and more.

And, as always, share with friends who might enjoy these insights.

Highlights

  • 9:00 People are often blind to the outcome
  • 17:00 When you have plans but no promises
  • 21:30 Not having honest conversations is a setup for failure
  • 28:30 Blind spot: the learning path for new managers
  • 40:00 Good managers assess their direct reports’ assessments
  • 42:00 Executives’ new promises and conversations
  • 53:00 It’s all about what we listen for

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