• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content

Grow and lead for all of us

  • Home
  • About
  • Select Writings & Episodes
  • Work with Me
  • Contact

Relationships

Seven pivotal conversations to have this week with colleagues and family

Seven pivotal conversations to have this week with colleagues and family

by amiel · Mar 18, 2020

Dear Friends,

Surreal and uncertain times call for deep attention to what conversations we have, with whom, and why.  Here are seven conversations you may find valuable having with your family, team, and colleagues this week while working from home.

Hit Reply and let me know what you think or which you may try.

When under stress, I turn to humor

Stephen Colbert did a monologue from his bathtub. My instinctual response was to create two things for the first time:

  1. A guide to mansplaining in an era of the coronavirus. Forget about me as the host of an interview series on women in leadership. Here I play the clueless and offensive mansplainer. Currently available only on request.
  2. A Public Service Announcement. This one I’ll share with you: “Six feet apart or six feet under. The choice is yours.”

Seven pivotal conversations to have this week with colleagues and family

1. “What matters conversations”

In stressful times, this is the one you’re most likely to skip. Please don’t. The “what matters conversation” involves slowing down and talking about what’s important to member of your family or team right now. Doing this has two benefits. First, it forces you—and everyone else—to pause and reflect on what you care about and what concerns you. Second, it helps you know what new worlds you are now speaking into. The child, spouse, or teammate in front of you today is in some ways a different person from the one of only a week ago. The key is to carve out time, say 30-60 minutes, go around the circle/screen, let each person share, and ask clarifying questions to understand.

2. “Possibility conversations”

This is where you explore “what if” scenarios without any pressure to commit. A few weeks ago, my wife and I had a possibility conversation around the question, “What if one of us had to self-quarantine for two weeks?” Last Thursday, we had one around, “What if we were to go to the mountain for the day for cross-country skiing?” In the workplace, you might have possibility conversations around scheduling daily 5 minute check-ins with each person on your team, canceling a planned initiative, or opening up a new collaboration with a division with whom suddenly you have vested interests. Again, this conversation is not a time to make requests or offer to do things. Stick with exploring “what if.”

3. New requests

Great, your team has had a positive possibility conversation around scheduling daily one-on-ones. The more you’ve listen, the more you like the idea. Now, you can take this possibility into action by making a new request: “I’d like to ask each of you, by 6pm today, to schedule a daily 5 min check-in with me between 8am and 5pm PST starting tomorrow and continuing through March 31.” Remember that an effective request has a clear What, When, and Why. And it only becomes a promise when the other person accepts. So consider ending your request by asking each person, “Would you be willing to do this?”

4. New offers

In a “what matters conversation” with your spouse, you realized that she really needs 2-3 hours alone in a quiet house. So you now look at your schedule, hers, and the kids,’ and make an offer. “Tomorrow, from 4 to 6pm, I’d be willing to take the kids on a long bike ride so you can have the house to yourself. Would you like me to do this?”

5. “You can say no or counteroffer”

If you want people to give real Yes’s, you have to make it safe for them to say No or propose a different timeline or outcome. I learned this when I was 22 years old and working for a senior health care leader—a guru of sorts who managed big budgets and testified before Congress. “Amiel,” he would say, “I’d like to ask you to do something. You can say no.” Hearing this surprising statement forced me to think—to not blindly agree but instead assess whether or not I could commit to what he was asking and the deadline. This gave me more freedom (which I liked) and raised the odds of my promises being reliable (which he liked). Every time we went through this, I matured a bit. The “you can say no or counteroffer” conversation is most important when making requests to people who have less authority than you and/or habitually say Yes.

6. Renegotiation of commitments 

Everyone has been moving face to face conversations to virtual.  Our family has also been shifting play dates to Zoom. These are examples of what I call “renegotiating commitments.” You can renegotiate the What and/or the When. Two tips:

  • Start with the phrase, “I’d like to renegotiate our agreement to___” because (a) it signals what’s kind of conversation you’d like to have and (b) it reminds you and them that your relationships rises and falls based on the quality of your commitments to each other.
  • End with “Would this work for you?” Just as it takes two to make a commitment, it takes two to renegotiate one.

 7. Cancellation of commitments with integrity

The past few days have witnessed the most momentous cancellation of commitments in my lifetime. Have you noticed that some people and organizations are better at this than others? Canceling commitments as soon as you realize you can’t deliver—and doing this skillfully—is important for two reasons: first, it allows the “customers” of these commitments to reassess the situation and explore other ways of getting their needs met; second, it preserves trust in the relationship. In my unpublished book Reliable Results (email me if you want a copy), I suggest three steps in canceling commitments with integrity

  • Explicitly cancel. “I will no longer be able to_____ as I had promised.”
  • Provide the context or rationale
  • Make it clear you are open to new requests now or in the future (to the extent this is true)

I hope these are helpful!

Cheerfully real,
Amiel Handelsman

P.S. Did someone forward this issue to you? I’d love to have you join us by signing up here.

Sharing

__________________________________________________

Please forward this issue to a friend. Thank you!

You’re receiving this email because you opted in at my website amielhandelsman.com

To make sure you keep getting this newsletter, please add amiel@amielhandelsman.com to your contacts or whitelist the address.

Unsubscribe | Update your preferences | 7625 SE 18th Ave, Portland, OR 97202

Filed Under: Accountability, Bosses, Promises, Relationships, Women's leadership, Words that work

Collaborative Leadership Through Jazz With Greg Thomas & Jewel Kinch-Thomas (Episode 110)

Collaborative Leadership Through Jazz With Greg Thomas & Jewel Kinch-Thomas (Episode 110)

by amiel · Oct 22, 2019

collaborative leadership

Greg Thomas (who previously spoke with me here and here) and Jewel Kinch-Thomas of the Jazz Leadership Project join me to explore the extraordinary ways that jazz builds collaborative leadership.

This is one of the most enjoyable conversations I’ve had on the podcast.

I learned new ways of thinking about group flow states, elite performance, and deliberately practicing in teams.

If you like this conversation, please share with friends!

Highlights

  • 3:30 Two big misunderstandings people have about jazz
  • 8:00 Why is jazz a more useful metaphor for leadership than orchestra or opera?
  • 22:00 The rhythm section exemplifies shared leadership
  • 26:00 From “that’s not my role” to using signals to help each other out
  • 32:00 Constant feedback helps you perform at a high level
  • 36:30 Ensemble mindset, “big ears”, and three ways to listen
  • 43:00 Group flow states and grooving to the music
  • 55:00 Developing excellence by practicing “in the shed”
  • 1:00:30 Trading silos for shared purpose so you hum as a team

Listen to the Podcast

Listen

Explore Additional Resources

  • Jazz Leadership Project
  • Tune Into Leadership, Greg and Jewel’s new blog

 

Filed Under: Adult development, Conflict, Creativity, Engagement, Podcast, Relationships

Interview about my first book, Practice Greatness

Interview about my first book, Practice Greatness

by amiel · Jun 26, 2019

 

Five years ago, I published my first book, Practice Greatness: Escape Small Thinking, Listen Like A Master, And Lead With Your Best. Marissa Brassfield of Ridiculously Efficient (RE) interviewed me about it in writing. Our exchange provides a good summary of the book’s key ideas, which shape my work with clients. Many of you weren’t following me then, so I’m sharing the interview below. Enjoy!

Practicing Greatness = Realize Full Potential

RE: What steps can leaders take to realize their full potential?

The first and most important thing to realize is that you are not a generic leader, but instead a person with unique gifts and limitations in a situation with distinctive challenges and opportunities.  So don’t listen to generic leadership advice. This may sound obvious, but it’s a common trap many leaders fall into. And for good reason: in my estimation, 98 percent of the leadership advice out there is generic. For example, “act with boldness” is sound advice for some leaders but terrible advice for others. Ditto for “be generous with your time,” “collaborate more,” or “think before you act.” I’ve coached leaders who’ve been drawn to such advice only to find that it amplified a weakness or distracted them from more pivotal areas of improvement.

Second, expose yourself to a variety of challenging experiences and extract as much learning from these experiences as you can. It’s not about moving up the ladder or getting greater visibility as much as challenging yourself in new ways. For example, if you’ve done a turnaround, try a startup—or manage a team that has a track record of success. Each of these experiences teaches different lessons. If you’ve spent years managing people who report to you, try a role where you have to influence without authority. And then learn as much as you can as fast as you can. Ironically, we learn faster when we slow down to reflect and get feedback.

Third, get support from colleagues, mentors, or a coach. The greater the challenge you take on, the greater the support you need.

Fourth, realize that you have an Achilles Heel, find out what it is, and then heal it. I think of the Achilles Heel as the one big flaw or blind spot that, if ignored, can screw up your career or at least keep you from realizing your potential. It’s a set of habits wired into your brain and body that limits your repertoire of leadership behaviors. Fortunately, the latest neuroscience tells us that you can rewire these habits well into adulthood. My favorite approach to helping leaders understand their Achilles Heel (as well as much more, like the quality of their greatness) is called the Enneagram. It provides nine answers to the question, “What makes me tick?”

Fifth, identify one or two skills that are pivotal to realizing your potential. These could be strengths that you want to use in new ways or skills that you haven’t fully developed. In my book, I offer fifteen inner and outer practices of great leadership. I call them “practices” because the idea is to practice them over and over again just like you would practice swinging a bat or playing piano. Repetition matters.

Finally, find a reason for leading that ignites you. In my experience, one factor differentiates leaders who carry on the hard work of practicing leadership to completion from others who barely get out of the starting blocks: a sense of purpose beyond their own narrow self-interest. Getting a raise or promotion and making more money are great, but neither provides enough fuel to sustain the practice of great leadership. Now, discovering this purpose isn’t easy, and it often takes years if not decades. Here are some questions to ask: What do you want to be known for? What do you feel passionate about taking a stand on? What would you risk embarrassment or fear to bring into being? These are big questions, and for good reason. We’re not talking about getting slightly better. We’re talking about realizing your full potential!

The Four Steps In Deliberate Practice

RE: You mentioned that deliberate practice at work requires four steps — preparing, acting, reflecting, and getting feedback. What do each of these steps entail and how can leaders benefit from this type of practice?

Before I answer that question, let me state the obvious: practicing on the job is not a familiar concept for most of us. Unless we are professional athletes or musicians, practice is what we do when we’re not working. We practice playing tennis. We practice guitar. But practice our jobs? Hardly. When we’re working, we’re working, right? It’s just like that Tom Hanks line from the movie A League of Their Own: “There’s no crying in baseball!” That’s the basic assumption in organizations: there’s no practice in business!

Except that’s not quite true. In my field, leadership development, research tells us two things: first, excellent leaders learn best not through training or reading, but from on-the-job experience; and, second, the way that they learn is by having a chance to reflect on their experience and by getting continuous feedback from people who see them in action. In other words, they’re not just moving from one meeting or action to the next. Instead, they’re stopping, even for a moment, to look back. What’s another word for these things? Practice.

Let’s start with reflecting. This means quietly and non-judgmentally reviewing what just happened. “What went well? What could I do differently? What did I learn from this experience about myself, others, the market, and so on?” Reflecting is the deliberate act of capturing the lessons that your experience provides. All it requires is intention, somewhere to write or type, and a relatively quiet space. I encourage the leaders I coach to designate ten minutes every day to quietly reflect. It can be the most valuable ten minutes of their day.

Getting feedback also involves learning from what happened, but instead of asking yourself, you ask others. “Hey, Sally, I want to get some feedback from you about that meeting this morning with our sales team. How clearly did I communicate the rationale behind our strategy? What could I do next time to be clearer?” Boom—suddenly, you learn something you wouldn’t have if you hadn’t asked. This accelerates your learning and, over time, elevates your performance.

Now, notice that the feedback you requested was very specific. It wasn’t, “How did I do?” It focused on a specific behavior—clearly communicating the “why”—that you are trying to improve. Notice, also, that you didn’t wait a week to get feedback. You asked the same day, when the event was fresh in memory. Finally, consider the impact on Sally of asking for her feedback. She has gone from bystander to active participant in your leadership development. And odds are good that she appreciates being asked and now feels a greater stake in your success. So, in addition to helping you improve, getting feedback strengthens your relationships.

Acting is whatever you are doing—writing an email, attending a meeting, giving a talk, negotiating with a customer, mentoring a direct report. It’s what we typically think of as “work.” Acting is obviously essential to practicing on the job. However, unlike the other three steps, acting is what we do when we’re not practicing. In fact, most managers spend 99 percent of their time acting—and that’s it. They’re not practicing with the intent to improve. Their just doing. But what we’re talking about here is different: it’s acting that occurs in the midst of deliberate practice.

Finally, there is preparing. Chronologically, preparing is the first step in the on-the-job practice cycle. I mention it last because it seems to be the most rare in the organizations where I work and the least discussed in the leadership literature. It’s a bit of a dark horse—not well known, but very generous in its rewards. Now let’s talk about what preparing is. Whereas reflecting and getting feedback involve looking back, preparing involves looking forward. The day before an important conversation with your boss and peers, you ask yourself a few questions. “What do I want to get out of this meeting? What value can I contribute? How might I do that? What could get in the way? Who else will be there, and how can I communicate effectively with them?”

Such preparation provides multiple benefits. First, it gets you focused on what you want to accomplish. Rather than just going with the flow, you show up with outcomes in mind. Second, it allows you to strategize about how to accomplish these outcomes. You develop a game plan. Third, it invites you to consider what obstacles may get in the way—and how you will handle them. Finally, it wakes you up. Rather than just drifting through the day, you become an active participant in what happens. The more times you stop for a moment to prepare, the more awake you become.

Great Leadership = Arguing Well

RE: You also mention that great leadership requires the ability to argue. What would a successful argument look like from a leader’s point of view?

A successful argument involves four things. First, instead of debating who’s correct, you realize that everyone has a different assessment or take on the situation. This is because most things we argue about are not facts but different interpretations of what the facts mean. It’s just like temperature. Saying that it’s 75 degrees outside is a factual assertion. It’s either true or false. But saying that it’s warm is an assessment. There is no way to prove it. A lot of the arguments we have in organizations is about whether it’s warm outside. Except we think that this is a matter of facts, when really it’s a matter of different assessments.

Second, when you give your take on a situation, you describe it as “my take” or “my assessment.” This signals to others that you are not placing a claim on the truth, but merely giving your perspective. This leaves space for them to have their own take.

Third, you ground your assessment. “Here are the reasons why I assess this acquisition to be in our best interest.” Or “Let me tell you why I don’t think he would be a good hire for this position.” Grounding assessments is a powerful way of communicating. It also allows others to learn what’s behind your thinking. It’s a way of letting them into how you see the world. Conversely, ungrounded assessments are often worse than saying nothing at all. Other than the letters, “ASAP,” they are the most pernicious source of mediocrity and suffering.

Finally, a successful argument involves gently inviting others to ground their assessments so that you can see what’s behind their thinking. Sometimes, it has the added benefit of causing them to do more thinking! The key word here is “gentle.” This is not about interrogating others. It’s about saying, “Hey, I hear that your take is X. I imagine you’ve thought a lot about this. Can you help me understand what’s behind that assessment?”

Put these four pieces together and you have a successful argument.

Great Leadership = Practice And Self-Reflection

RE: How do other employees benefit when leaders spend more time practicing and less time on self-reflection?

I’m for more of both. Practicing and self-reflection are both enormously for beneficial to leaders and the employees they serve. Reflecting is one of the four steps of the on-the-job practice cycle. So if you’re practicing on the job, you are automatically reflecting.

More Tips On Practicing Greatness

RE: What other tips can you provide to leaders to foster a productive and engaging work environment?

First, make sure you are showing up to work every day with physical energy and the ability to focus. Get 7-8 hours of sleep a night. Take breaks at least once every ninety minutes. Move your body. Eat in a way that you have sustained energy throughout the day instead of energy spikes and crashes. Hint: proteins, healthy fats, and vegetables will sustain your energy far better than soft drinks, sugary foods, and fast carbs (muffins, breads, and other foods that create blood sugar spikes and crashes).

Second, learn what triggers you emotionally and take on practices that allow you to respond calmly. A couple years ago, at a conference the CTO of Cisco was asked what benefits she got from meditating. She said that it helped her stay calm in very tense situations. Mindfulness isn’t the only practice for managing triggers, but it’s a darn effective one.

Third, look at Gallup’s research about employee engagement—it’s amazingly useful.

Finally, if you’re not great at developing people, hire or partner with someone who is. Ultimately, we are as good as the people we surrounded ourselves with.

 

Filed Under: Deliberate practice, Emotions, Engagement, Leadership development, Learning from experience, Nutrition, Physical energy, Relationships, Sleep

Episode 98: Why Enneagram Types Matter With Roxanne Howe-Murphy

by amiel · Mar 5, 2019

Roxanne Howe-Murphy

The first time Roxanne Howe-Murphy and I planned to discuss the Enneagram, we were interrupted by an election. So we explored how to heal from Trump Shock (for those needing such healing).

Life gives second chances.

This week Roxanne and I took one such opportunity and ran with it.

The Enneagram is a system for personal and professional development I’ve been using for twenty years. It informs my coaching and, increasingly, my work with leadership teams.

There are nine Enneagram styles or types. Each provides a different answer to the question: What makes me tick?

Walking through all nine types is a big task. Roxanne and I chose instead to explore what is both the most practical and existential question about the Enneagram: why does it matter? What difference does it make when growing yourself to understand your Enneagram type? What difference does it make when coaching or managing someone else to understand theirs? And for those involved in parenting or mentoring kids, how can you shoot yourself in the foot by treating all kids the same, rather than personalizing to what makes each child tick?

Roxanne is a wise and warm presence. I invite you to grab a cup of tea and listen in.

Highlights

  • 4:30 That time Roxanne mis-typed herself
  • 14:00 Enneagram versus Myers-Briggs
  • 22:00 Learning your type makes your goals more true for you
  • 28:00 You share this way of being with 800 million other people
  • 33:00 A leader who didn’t trust herself
  • 44:00 What if you coached a Type Six as if they were you, a Type Nine?
  • 49:30 “I don’t recognize this child. He is so unlike me!”
  • 1:02:00 Our degree of presence matters

Listen to the Podcast

http://traffic.libsyn.com/amielhandelsman/TAS_098_Roxanne_Howe_Murphy.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Explore Additional Resources

  • Roxanne Howe-Murphy and the Deep Living Institute
  • Deep Coaching Institute, an Enneagram coaching school
  • Deep Living: Transforming Your Relationship To Everything That Matters Through The Enneagram by Roxanne Howe-Murphy
  • Deep Coaching: Using The Enneagram As A Catalyst For Profound Change by Roxanne Howe-Murphy
  • My interviews with Susanne Cook-Greuter and Jennifer Garvey-Berger on stages of adult development and their relevance to leadership

Filed Under: Adult development, Conflict, Deliberate practice, Emotions, Enneagram, Parenting, Podcast, Relationships

Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps With Jennifer Garvey Berger (Episode 93)

Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps With Jennifer Garvey Berger (Episode 93)

by amiel · Jan 21, 2019

Unlocking leadership mindtraps. Up for it?

I am.

This week I’m excited to share another mind-stretching conversation with adult development expert Jennifer Garvey Berger.

We discuss her new, shorter, faster, and easier book Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps: How To Thrive In Complexity. Once again, Jennifer helps me unpack, unlock and uncover some of the biggest questions in the field of leadership development. Our intent, as always, is to find simplicity on the other side of complexity, a.k.a. grow a little bit today so we can grow even a little bit more tomorrow.

My favorite part is our discussion of what Jennifer calls “simple stories,” something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, particularly in the context of global climate change. (No, snow and cold temperatures don’t mean the overall temperature of the planet isn’t increasing. Yes, it makes a devilishly simple story. No, people who swear by this story are not bad people. Yes, you can learn to see them as heroes in their own story. No, your doing this won’t magically reduce carbon emissions. Yes, it’s still a healthy act for you and the rest of us. But I digress…)

Join me for this invigorating conversation.

Highlights

  • 8:00 Jennifer gets asked, “How can I do this faster?”
  • 12:00 The five most dangerous and most escapable mindtraps
  • 17:00 “This is who I am. Don’t mess with me.”
  • 20:30 A simple story about Brexit involving bananas
  • 29:00 We soothe ourselves by knowing the odds
  • 34:00 Ask “How is this person [I’m aggravated by] a hero?”
  • 41:30 Jennifer plays a game with clients: let’s create three simple stories
  • 52:30 Simple stories Jennifer has told herself about her experiences with her kids
  • 1:02:00 Mindtraps in the transition from socialized mind to self-authored mind
  • 1:08:00 Simple stories about the amazing leader who must have been born that way

Listen to the Podcast

Download l Listen in new window

Explore Additional Resources

  • Jennifer Garvey Berger and Cultivating Leadership
  • Jennifer’s new book, Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps: How To Thrive In Complexity
  • My previous interviews with Jennifer about her books Changing On The Job and Simple Habits for Complex Times

 

Filed Under: Adult development, Complexity, Parenting, Podcast, Relationships

Episode 89: GTD And Promise-Based Management With Michael Dolan

by amiel · Dec 18, 2018

In this week’s episode, Michael Dolan and I show you how to bring about the results you want in life by combining two powerful action frameworks: Getting Things Done (GTD) and promise-based management.

GTD, also known as workflow coaching, helps you manage agreements with yourself. David Allen, my guest on episode 13, outlined this model in his mega bestselling book, Getting Things Done. Michael has been bringing this approach to executives and senior professionals for many years.

Promise-based management helps you manage commitments with others. I heard about it 20 years ago, gave my first talk about it in 2003, and enjoy introducing it to clients. It has been one of the principal themes of this podcast. Many of you heard the integral mashup I did on this topic several months ago.

The question Michael and I explore today is this: what happens when you integrate both frameworks into your day-to-day work life? What becomes possible when you become adept at managing agreements with yourself using GTD and skilled at managing commitments with others using promise-based management?

Neither of us promises you will become superhuman or super-happy.

Then again, nor do we claim these are out of reach!

But seriously, I enjoyed rolling up my sleeves with Michael. Join us as we dig in below the level of concepts to explore specific behaviors you can start practicing today when you combine these powerful frameworks.

Highlights

  • 12:00 How can promises from a 1-on-1 meeting end up in your inbox?
  • 18:00 Processing items at your desk when you’re confused about who promised what
  • 24:00 It’s easier to process (“What is this?”) when you’ve already discussed this with others
  • 30:00 Check your “delegated project” list at the end of a meeting
  • 37:00 Asking the other person to promise to bring up a topic in three months
  • 41:00 You saying “no” to me could help me renegotiate agreements with myself!
  • 47:00 You thought they were going to produce a brochure. They thought they agreed to get it approved.
  • 52:00 What if you don’t trust others to manage their promises?
  • 59:00 Why Michael is in awe of the volume of work his clients manage

Listen to the Podcast

http://traffic.libsyn.com/amielhandelsman/TAS_089_Michael_Dolan.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Explore Additional Resources

  • Michael Dolan and Truly Productive Leadership
  • A Summary of Workflow Coaching
  • My interview with Elizabeth Doty on making only promises you can keep

Filed Under: Accountability, Bosses, Deliberate practice, Getting Things Done, Podcast, Promises, Relationships, Trust

Episode 83: Sexual Polarity In Marriage With Keith Witt [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Sep 17, 2018

I’ve finally done it.

I’ve recorded an interview that should not be played in the workplace.

It’s perfect for the car ride home or a weekend getaway with your partner.

But do not listen to this with your coworkers over lunch or in a leadership team retreat.

This episode is about sex, specifically in the context of a committed long-term relationship.

More specifically, it’s about sexual polarity between partners: what it is, why it matters, why so often it’s missing, and what you can do to restore or sustain it in your relationship.

Our guide is integral psychotherapist Keith Witt, author of the brand new book Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice For Creating Great Relationships. Keith joined me twice before to discuss the marital love affair and men’s sexual shadow at work.

In those earlier interviews, we discussed sex, but just a bit. And if there’s one thing you and I know about sex, a bit just isn’t enough.

So this time we give it our full attention—with candor, sensitivity, and humor.

If you’ve heard Keith discuss Loving Completely elsewhere, you’ll want to listen to this in its entirely. In no other interview does he discuss sexual polarity in as much depth. This Keith has assured me.

I thank you for listening and hope you enjoy the conversation.

Highlights

  • 5:00 You have many marriages with your spouse
  • 16:00 Five questions to ask yourself when selecting a partner
  • 28:00 Polarity creates the spark in a relationship
  • 36:00 Making love as feminine and masculine
  • 40:00 Having conversations about sex with your partner
  • 47:00 When a woman is nursing
  • 57:30 Moral codes affect your sexual relationship
  • 1:09:00 Partners who also work together
  • 1:16:00 Mad Men and why being clueless isn’t cool
  • 1:20:00 Talking with kids about sex
  • 1:25:00 Exit affairs, opportunistic affairs, and “please, can we love again” affairs
  • 1:34:00 Keith is not Ashley Madison

Listen to the Podcast

http://traffic.libsyn.com/amielhandelsman/TAS_083_Keith_Witt.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS

Explore Additional Resources

  • Order Keith’s new book, Loving Completely: A Five Star Practice For Creating Great Relationships

New to Podcasts?

Get started here

Subscribe to the Show on iTunes (It’s Easy!)

  1. Sign into iTunes using your ID and password
  2. Search the iTunes store for “Amiel Show”
  3. If you get a screen without a Subscribe button (a screen that looks like this), click on the show logo in the lower left corner
  4. Click on the Subscribe button. It’s in the upper left corner of the screen.

Give Me a Rating or Review on iTunes (It’s Also Easy!)

  1. Sign into iTunes using your ID and password
  2. Search the iTunes store for “Amiel Show”
  3. If you get a screen without “Ratings and Reviews” (a screen that looks like this), click on the show logo in the lower left corner
  4. Click on “Ratings and Reviews”
  5. Give it a rating. Bonus for a review

 

Filed Under: Adult development, Complexity, Deliberate practice, Emotions, Marriage, Parenting, Podcast, Relationships

Next Page »

Copyright © 2023 · No Sidebar Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in