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The One Thing I Love To Rant About

by amiel · Aug 17, 2015

Complaining about things that suck is overrated.

However, annual performance reviews are even more overrated. And that’s saying something, because everyone loathes them.

Seriously, have you ever once met someone willing to defend them? I mean, c’mon, what are they going to say?

“Look, folks, I know you hate them. I know they’re a waste of time. And, yes, I know that they encourage bizarre, reptilian behavior. But we have to have them because_____.”

Because why?

There’s just no way to fill in that blank and keep a straight face.

Apologies to all of my HR friends who own performance management. This isn’t personal. I won’t say this in front of your boss. And, anyhow, I’ve been outspoken on this since before I met most of you. It’s in my first book.

You know what’s even crazier? I once worked (as a W2 employee) for an organization that had never used performance reviews and thought it was missing out.

Seriously.

What my boss said

“Amiel, would you believe that we’ve never had a regular performance review here? It’s completely ridiculous. So I’m creating a standard form we can use for everyone. It’s going be great, and I want you to help me.

What I said to my boss:

“Alright, I’ll help you make it work. [Gulp]. Now, first, I have to say that lots of research shows that consistent, direct feedback is the best way to increase performance. So I suggest that if we do this annually, we also make it part of everyday managing.”

What I wish I’d said to my boss

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying: Amiel, imagine we run a business on the American side of Niagara Falls. For years we’ve been watching those Canadians go over their falls in barrels like there was nothing to it. And thinking, ‘Damn it, why can’t we do that? We’re smart. We know how to make things in the United States. Why don’t we sell barrels that can do that?’

And so you’re saying to me, ‘Amiel, now is the time. Help me make a barrel that can go over our side of the falls.’

Episode 26: Help Me Understand, A Jedi Leadership Trick [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Aug 12, 2015

Ready for a very short, very practical episode of The Amiel Show?

Last week, before my interview with Pamela Weiss, I introduced a new feature to the podcast: The Jedi Leadership Trick. It’s ten minutes or less of practical wisdom you can put into action immediately. We looked at one called Two Feet, Five Breaths.

This week, let’s try something different. The Jedi Leadership Trick is the episode.

I call this one Help Me Understand. Have a listen!

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READ: Episode 29: The 5-Point Relationship Health Scale, A Jedi Leadership Trick [The Amiel Show]

Episode 25: Pamela Weiss On Leading With Clarity, Courage, And Curiosity [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Aug 3, 2015

Pamela Weiss is an amazing coach and teacher. She has one foot in the corporate world and another in the world of Buddhism. In fact, she spans so many domains that sometimes I think she must have three or four feet. That’s why I invited her to join me for this historic (play drum roll) episode 25 of the podcast.

In this interview, we talk about three important qualities of leadership: clarity, courage, and curiosity. These are qualities of bodhisattva leaders, “wise feeling beings” who are “dedicated to supporting the welfare of others.” Pamela challenges us to deepen our understanding of what it means to lead in the world.

Before the interview, I introduce a new feature to the podcast: the Jedi Leadership Trick. This week we explore one called Two Feet, Five Breaths. It’s pretty nifty.

Highlights

0:30 Jedi Leadership Trick: Two Feet, Five Breaths
5:20 Introduction of Pamela Weiss
10:40 Leadership: role or way of being?
13:40 Bringing bodhisattva leadership into the vernacular
20:15 Clarity, courage, and curiosity
33:00 This isn’t easy…and it’s not meant to be
35:30 The Personal Excellence Program (PEP)
38:30 Selecting a quality to focus on in your leadership
44:30 Refining your capacity to observe
49:30 Why lack of self-care is often a symptom of something else
52:00 Building authentic connection and the power of group coaching
58:00 What Pamela is deliberately practicing in her life

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Tweet a Quote

I’d like the term bodhisattva to be as commonplace in our language as cappuccino.

–Pamela Weiss Tweet this quote

Our world is a mess. There’s so much we could help with. What’s most important to me?

–Pamela Weiss Tweet this quote

Read The Transcript

You can view (and then download) a complete, word-for-word transcript of this episode here .

Explore Additional Resources

Appropriate Response

Personal Excellence Program (PEP)

Video about PEP’s work at Genentech

Pam’s talk at the Do Lectures

Pam’s panel discussion with Tony Schwartz at Wisdom 2.0

Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

New to Podcasts?

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Click on the Subscribe button. It’s in the upper left corner of the screen.

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Give it a rating. Bonus for a review

Episode 24: Amy Jen Su On Owning The Room [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Jul 21, 2015

Leadership presence. In some organizations, you hear the phrase all the time. Sounds impressive, but does anyone know what it actually means?

Do you?

Now, you’re a smart person, so let’s assume you have a definition ready at hand. Leadership presence is about how other people perceive you. And power.

Through this lens, the greater your presence, the more powerfully you show up in others’ assessments. Most of us want to be perceived as powerful. So leadership presence is a good thing, right?

Yes, but only if it means showing up powerfully as ourselves. Not imitating someone else, but expressing the highest and most authentic version of who we are.

When you do this, you’re not renting someone else’s space or personality.

You own the room.
[Read more…] about Episode 24: Amy Jen Su On Owning The Room [The Amiel Show]

Episode 23: David Rome On The Wisdom Of A Leader’s Body [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Jul 15, 2015

In the past decade, an increasing number of leaders have had an astonishing insight: they have bodies.

This sounds silly to point out. Of course we all have bodies. We are human beings. Why is this a big deal?

Here is why: For decades, we’ve left the body out of the equation. Look at any book on leadership or management published between 1950 and 2005. You’ll be hard pressed to find anything about leaders’ bodies. Consider my own experience. When I started developing leaders in the mid 1990s, we talked about leadership competencies, how people change, and a dozen models of excellence. Cool stuff, but it was purely cognitive. One hundred percent was about how to shift minds. The body was nowhere to be found.

Fortunately, this has begun to shift.

Neuroscience teaches us that changing ourselves involves rewiring the brain’s neural pathways. The study of emotional intelligence suggests that reading our emotions and others’ is a distinctly physical act. And studies of high performance reveal that sleep, nutrition, regular breaks, and sustained periods of “flow” are must-haves for leadership excellence.

The secret is out: The body isn’t a peripheral concern. It is central to leadership.

So if you’re facing a big decision, navigating an interpersonal conflict, or building a team, keep this in mind: your body knows the answer.

Your Body Knows The Answer. That’s not just a clever phrase. It’s also the title of a new book by David Rome. David is a mindfulness teacher and seasoned executive. He began practicing Buddhism in 1971 and served for many years as the private secretary to the great Tibetan Buddhist master, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.

This week on the podcast, David and I talk about how to use mindful focusing and the body’s “felt sense” to rise to many challenges of leadership.

Highlights

9:00 What are “felt senses” and why do they rarely break into your consciousness?
16:00 Negotiating a complex deal between two organizations–and how the felt sense saved the day
24:30 How the felt sense can help you in a crisis
31:00 Using mindful focusing when you have to fire someone or make another tough decision
40:00 A simple focusing practice you can do right now
51:00 When and how to practice mindful focusing
53:00 What it was like being private secretary to the great Tibetan Buddhist master, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
57:00 What David is deliberately practicing to grow as a person

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Episode 22: Michael Dolan On Becoming Relaxed And Present By Improving Your Workflow [The Amiel Show]

by amiel · Jul 2, 2015

Everyone wants to know your plans for the Fourth of July.

Michael Dolan has a different question: Will your mind be clear and relaxed enough to enjoy the long weekend? Or is it cluttered with unfinished actions and other “stuff?”

If it’s cluttered, there’s a reason: your mind is not meant to store all the agreements you have with yourself.

That’s why we all need a trusted system for identifying, tracking, and taking action on all this “stuff.”

This, Michael says, is the purpose of workflow coaching–and GTD.

In Episode 22, I welcome Michael back to the podcast to talk through how this works and the practical steps you can take to clear your mind and be present. Michael is just my second return guest (after Jennifer Garvey Berger). When you listen to this interview (and Episode 2), you’ll know why.

Apart from being respected and liked by everyone he meets, Michael brings a rare gift. Of the thousands of productivity experts around the world, Michael is one of the few who takes a truly integral approach. His work is about getting more of the right things done with less stress, but that’s not all. He also helps you bring your whole self to the table so that others feel an invitation to do the same.

That’s why, yet again, I have set aside my envy of his hair–which is much better than I had even in my prime–and decided to share his practical wisdom with you again.

Highlights

9:30 How you can be complete about being unfinished
13:50 The five phases of workflow
19:00 How to decide what to do in the 22 minutes before your next meeting
22:30 Why the old methods of defining priorities often fall short
27:00 GTD gives meditation a run for the money in producing presence
33:00 The Weekly Review is the uber practice of GTD
37:00 It’s up to us to define our agreements with ourselves
39:00 A story of when processing the inbox reminds someone of what matters most in life

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The Four Things People May Mean When They Say “I Trust You”

by amiel · Jun 26, 2015

When someone says “I trust you,” it feels great to hear, but what do they mean?

If it’s not entirely clear, rest assured that you’re not alone. The person speaking to you probably doesn’t know exactly what they mean.

That’s because trust isn’t one thing. It’s four. This is true whether the topic is others’ trust in you, or your trust in others.

When you ask yourself, “Do I trust this person?” you can break it down into four questions:

Do I trust that they are competent in the thing I want them to do?
Do I trust that they are sincere when they make a commitment to doing it?
Do I trust that they are reliable?
Do I trust that they care for me and my interests?

A few examples:

Know anyone who is great at keeping promises, but you’re never sure if they’re being up front with you? “I trust you” means you can trust their reliability but not their sincerity.
How about someone who takes care of your interests–you always know that they’re doing their best to help you be successful–but half the work they do with you is mediocre? “I trust you” means you can trust their care but not their competence (in at least some areas of work).
How about a person who knows their job cold, cares about your success, and is 100% serious when he makes promises, yet is lousy at follow through? “I trust you” means you can trust their competence, care, and sincerity, but not their reliability.

The next time someone says, “I trust you,” ask them what they mean. And the next time you are sizing up someone else, consider all four dimensions of trust.

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